


Body Swap; Taako Needs Glasses

by ManicPixieDreamPharaoh



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Content Warning: Magnus cuddles, Rated for swearing, Taako has some issues, Team as Family, background Blupjeans and Taakitz, bodyswap au, but not the canon one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-02-20 03:58:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13138605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManicPixieDreamPharaoh/pseuds/ManicPixieDreamPharaoh
Summary: "Always Sunny Font: Taako gets bullied for 72 hours straight"





	1. Chapter 1

“Sir!! Sir, are you watching??”

Taako started awake, chin snapping around to look at Angus, who had his hands on his hips and was glaring at him unthreateningly, wand levitating in front of him.

“Sorry Ango, big night.” He yawned into his fist, biting back his scowl at the concern on the young boy’s face, the wand falling slightly before Angus returned his attention to upholding the spell, he scrunched his face up as the wand arced upwards and lightly tapped his temple, leaning away, “yeah, yeah. I know. Nerd school can’t live up to the extreme quality of scholarship you recieved from Yours Truly.”

He flicked the wand vertically with his finger, catching it as it fell from the magical hold Angus used to maintain it’s position, he spun it around his fingers dextrously, repeatedly, a crutch he’d fallen into a few cycles into the Starblaster’s journey and had never quite lost, even when the memories of learning it had been.

 

He drew his own wand, “how ‘bout a competition, boychik?”

“A good old fashioned wizards duel, sir?” the boy’s eyes blazed eagerly, Taako pursed his lips - was it good and normal that he was so excited at the idea of a fight? - and pushed back the unwelcome concern that naught but his bad traits and habits had rubbed off on Angus. He shook his head.

“A game, I was thinking.” He lifted Angus by the armpits onto a table so that he gained some height advantage, “This elf has had enough fighting for the next decade or so, and it’d take that long for you to last more than one round anyway against me, so you should count your godsdamned blessings.” He grinned when Angus stuck his tongue out.

He handed him back his own wand, and lifted his own, pointing it at the wall.

His sister’s name was still burnt into it, only now it was _decorated_. He rolled his eyes. Graffiti surrounded it, flowers and flames and notes written in unreadable ink, he knew that this place had become a symbol of strength and hope in the bureau after the day of Story and Song.

There was one note that stood out, messy but legible handwriting he knew, scrawled with a heart beside it, and Taako read it and gagged instead of smiling as he wanted. He wondered if Lup had seen Barry’s message yet. They hadn’t spent a ton of time on base, she was busy becoming reacquainted with her body, and Barry, and their family.

 

He glanced at Angus, who was grinning at the wall, and couldn’t help but smile at that, turning before he was noticed.

“So what are we going to play?”

Taako conjured a stack of cans, a memory that felt further away than their time on the starblaster, further even than evenings in caravans with Lup, frightened children amping one another up, further than the whispered suggestion of a voice that may have been his mother’s, if he could be certain.

Six or seven cans, stacked neatly, and strangely- not rigged, just stacked _incredibly_ well.

He looked at Angus.

“5000gp to knock them over. The prize is worth it.”

“Sir, I don’t have any money.”

Taako clicked his tongue, “that sucks for you, bubelah.” He removed a secondary wand from his pocket covertly, poking Angus in the ribs as a distraction. He let his regular wand fall into the strap around his thigh, the Wand of Switcheroo replacing it in his palm.

“I’ll give you a free try and you’ll just owe me.”

 

He watched the boy consider it, “And if I win?”

“I won’t tell Lup that it was you who transmuted her front door.” It hadn’t been Angus who had turned the door from wood to soft wool, but Taako had every intention to blame him. Since he’d been there too, he was therefore at least partially responsible, and Taako wouldn’t have _anyone_ believing he could screw up something as simple as a matter transmutation. It wasn’t a stretch to believe Angus would attempt a higher level specialist spell to emulate his mentor.

Angus giggled at that, “Deal.” He took the small rubber ball Taako handed him, and tossed it from hand to hand as he studied the stack.

Taako narrowed his eyes. He cast minor illusion, tracing an illusory hand across the back of Angus’ neck to make him shudder and planting a whisper in his ear, a taunt, “ _nerd.”_

Angus tossed the ball, hard, and it bounced off the top of a can as he spun to Taako and punched his right hand into his left, a finger up that appeared to be his middle.

Taako laughed hard, pulling the closed fist away to reveal it was his pointer finger, laughing harder as the boy blushed red, “Magnus taught me-”

It took a moment before he could catch his breath, and Taako wheezed through his laughter, “you didn’t even actually flip me off- holy shit-”

He saw Angus ball his fists up by his side, and the rubber ball whizzed across the room and into his palm, ceasing Taako’s laughter immediately, he straightened and looked at him proudly, “Solid mage hand, little dude! That was _fast!_ ”

 

The way Angus beamed and flourished under his praise made him equal parts terrified and affectionate, and he poked his chest, “try again, Ango.”

The boy tilted his head, climbing down onto the floor.

“The only way it’ll knock down all the cans is if I disrupt the balance from below, and I can’t do that from the table.” Angus said confidentally, lining up a throw.

Taako scowled, knew he would figure it out, and used blink to position himself on the table Angus had climbed down from. He flicked the wand of switcheroo at him, wanting to force him to miss again.

He felt his matter shift across the room, not quite the rebuild he recieved after each cycle, but more akin to a soul jar– his soul sucked from his body and thrown across the room, he gained his feet, and realised he was experiencing a familiar, but not _too_ familiar phenomenon– he _had_ only experienced this once before.

Gods, how did Merle and the kid deal with being so _fucking short._

He glanced down at his body–Angus’ body, he supposed– and tugged at the sweater the boy wore. It was soft, and he could smell something familiar in it’s threads. It was comforting.

 

He glanced up as he heard an _extremely_ pissed off voice from across the room.

“ _Taako, what the heck.”_

Hands clasped over his own mouth. It was as disconcerting to watch his body act without him as it had been the first time, but Magnus at least carried himself with that rugged dignity, rather than the gangly, awkward stance of an eleven year old given the limbs of a fully grown elf.

“Well, this presents some… unique challenges. Use the wand, kid.”

He watched Angus raise the wand that was in his hand, eyeing it closely and obviously recognising it for what it was, “You were _cheating_!”

Taako rolled his eyes, “really not the issue at hand here, Ango-” he touched a hand to his temple at the sound of his own voice, “and honestly? Not all that surprising, you have to admit.”

Angus muttered something under his breath, and Taako squinted, surprised he could even _tell_ – holy shit. He touched the glasses on his nose, pulling them away from his eyes, the world went blurry.

He replaced them. The world was clearer through Angus’ eyes. Weird.

 

“Just hit me with the wand, Angus. Hurry up. I’m not totally with it today, I guess.”

Angus frowned with _his_ lips, “yeah, your body feels awful. Did you even sleep?” he climbed awkwardly down from the table, limbs too long for what he was accustomed to.

“Elves don’t need to sleep, Ango.”

“Meditation then.” Angus snapped, “and I’ve seen you nap more than anyone else I know, don’t bullshit me.”

“Whoa-” Taako raised his hands, moving to him, “What’s with the third degree?”

Angus glared down at him, the hands-planted-firmly-on-hips was more intimidating when it loomed down on you from a height that necessitated an uncomfortable neck tilt. “Your body feels like I’m dying, I can tell you haven’t slept or meditated in days. No wonder your spell went wrong.”

“You’re not my mom, shut up.” Taako took the wand from his hand, ducking as a hand swept forward to grab it a little too late, he jumped back and pointed the Wand of Switcheroo at himself. He flinched a little as he realised his Glamour had dropped, Angus both unknowing and incapable of upholding the spell as he did. He used the wand, and Angus just glared at him with his own eyes.

“I’m resisting! It didn’t work the first time, why would it go right this time? I’m not risking that!”

Taako groaned, “what do _you_ propose we do then, kid?”

 

Angus hummed thoughtfully, sucking a lower lip into his mouth–that tic sure looked fucking weird on Taako’s face–before his eyes lit up, “i’ve got it!”

Taako raised an eyebrow amusedly, smirking a little, “and what’s that, _Mr Wizard_?”

“We hit the library! There has to be some reason for this, your spells have been off all day!”

His grin dropped, “Excuse me?” he jerked a hand towards Angus’ wand where it hung from his lanyard, and ducked hard as a mage hand flew for it, snagging it first and retireving it.

“I’m not trying to be rude, Taako, but you must know– Transmuting Lup’s door wrong, the Minor Illusion you cast was barely noticible–maybe it’s something elf-related….”

Taako stared, the boy entirely lost in his own thought, verbalising quietly without intent for it to be heard, he rolled his eyes. “Great, well, if you’re going to nerd it up at the library, can you at least cast disguise self so you don’t ruin my Street Cred? And if you’re going to go do your _favourite thing_ with my body, I am too. I’ll be at the chug and squee– Fuck!” He groaned, realising it was unlikely even Angus could charm alcohol out of someone as an eleven year old, “Well that’s out. I’m going to go visit Magnus.” He thrust a hand into the pocket of Angus’ pants, fingers brushing a stone of farspeech, he glanced at the kid, snapping his fingers to get his attention– Angus was running fingers through the ends of his hair and mumbling to himself something about moon cycles and the solstace–”Farspeech me when you figure it out, Angus.”

 

His head jerked up then, lips stilling, and with Angus’ superior vision he could see the chapping on his less-full lips from the forgotten Glamour, as he stopped speaking, “Taako- don’t get me wrong, you’re great, but I’m not… certain you could convincingly…. Impersonate me.”

Taako’s eyes set firmly, he forced a bright smile onto his face, and widened his eyes, parting his lips and pushing his shoulders back with a look of wonder he’d seen on Angus’ face many a time. “Fucking try me with that shit-” he said brightly, and when he saw Angus quirk a skeptical brow at him, he added hastily, “Sir!”

Angus laughed. Hard.

Differences from Wonderland and general life, not to mention aesthetic tastes, had caused him to be distinguishable from Lup now, to a trained eye, Taako knew, but he was sure nobody would have been able to guess which of the two was laughing in that room while Angus McDonald looked on in wonder. The joy lit up his face to the point that the lacking Glamour went unmissed, the grin splitting his face in half with a fire that he saw in Lup on The Best Day, a warmth he had seen when he’d finally transmuted the remains of Phandolin into the sapphire he needed.

Happiness was foreign, yet only _just_ so, on his face.

His sister carried it for him, reminded him of it, but this was different.

Something in seeing Angus wearing his skin made his heart yearn to _feel_ that joy once again, to feel the way it pulled on his face and lifted his bones.

He was method acting, he told himself, when he flung Angus’ arms around his own lithe waist, pressing his face into the satin of the blouse he’d put on that morning as he hugged his own elven form. Just doing what Angus would do, he revelled in the feeling of a hand carding through the dark curls on his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh, minor content warning for discussion of piercing someone, just in case. It's not too graphic.

Being eye-level with a fucking doorknob was mind-boggling. Taako raised a hand and found he couldn’t reach the knocker, and given that Angus would never just let himself into someone’s house, he grabbed Angus’ stone of farspeech and called for Magnus.

“Ango?” He sounded far away, a little out of breath.

“Yeah, can you- I’m at your front door, sir!” He said through gritted teeth, “I thought I’d come to visit! But I can’t reach your door-knocker because I’m literally a child with child bones which is extremely impractical. I don’t know why anyone would do this.”

Magnus didn’t reply through the stone, and Taako squeezed his in his palm while he waited, until he heard loud footsteps and breathing, and the door was flung open.

He looked up at Magnus, more imposing than ever. Sweat dripped from his face and arms as he quickly shed the ‘Suns Out, Guns Out’ tank-top that clung to his body with sweat, before sweeping him into a frankly kinda gross hug. 

“Don’t-” He almost shrieked, hands planted firmly on Magnus’ chest to hold him at something of a distance, glaring as Magnus put him down.

“Sorry- sweaty hugs aren’t much fun, huh?”

Taako wiped his face, knocking Angus’ glasses to the floor. He crouched to pick them up, fumbling around blindly until he located them.

He put them back on his face and squinted through the fogged lenses at Magnus, who uneasily laughed and took them. He wiped the glass on his shirt before sliding them back onto his face.

“You okay, Ango?”

Taako pushed them up his nose, still not comfortable with the added weight to his face, with his vision changing when he moved his head too quickly, he rubbed a hand through his hair.

He thought about the animal world, the first year, and seeing Magnus charge head first into the Mongoose family only to have his fingers nipped for shoving his hand against their fur without warning, and managed to beam at him in a way that he hoped was reminiscent of Angus.

“I’m great, sir! I wanted to see what you’ve been up to, since I saw Taako earlier today.”

“Magic lessons going well, kid?” Magnus asked him, and Taako’s breath caught in his throat as he surpressed a protest, strong arms sweeping him up onto his back as Magnus piggybacked him inside.

 

He wrapped arms around his neck. This was humiliating.

Magnus’ hands curled around his calves was comforting, though. Familiar.

“Taako says I’m improving slowly. Today he showed me how to cast Alter Self.He’s very competant, and talented, and I want to be just like him some day!” He enthused, at least this part was easy, Angus thought he was about as cool as he really was.

Magnus chuckled beneath him. It jostled his shoulders more than was exactly… comfortable but Taako closed his eyes and pressed his cheek into his mess of hair anyway, resting there.

 

“You’re so right Ango, but does Taako have _puppies_?”

Taako’s eyes widened in… well, he couldn’t quite call it shock or surprise. Alarm, maybe.

“You wh- n-No dogs on the moon, sir!” he corrected himself nervously from his accusation, glancing around the dorms he had once shared with Magnus and Merle. Magnus stayed on base when he got too lonely in his private home in Raven’s Roost.

He knew he should visit more than he did, but there was something intimidating about it all. About the shared time without memories, about how things had changed. There was before the voidfish, and there was after, and there was now, all the memories returned but jumbled together.

It was too soon, and as far as the other’s knew - Lup and Barold and Angus excepted - Taako was spending his well-earned post apocalypse-defeating rest boning down with Kravitz.

Which wasn’t to say that he _wasn’t_ doing just that whenever the latter wasn’t busy with work, or Lup wasn’t dragging him to try new things on her behalf - noncorporeal life had its downsides, namely, the inability to try new flavours of the candy she loved - or being coerced into some illegal shit with Barry, who made him cross his heart not to tell Kravitz.

He was usually far-speech texting him about his afternoon within the first hour. Kravitz had _mostly_ given up on trying to stop them, all protests purely to make a point.

 

Now, however, arms wrapped around Magnus’ neck, glasses slipping down his face, he felt genuine guilt at his lack of time spent with the oaf.

Magnus wouldn’t hold grudges, it wasn’t exactly in his nature - and the one he did hold was taken from him in Wonderland - but Taako knew he’d appreciate the company.

There was just a lot he knew they had to discuss, some things that probably _wanted_ to be discussed, and honestly? Taako was good living in his bubble pretending none of it had to be brought up ever.

If Magnus was so lonely and broken up by it all that he was trafficking dogs onto the moon directly under Lucretia’s nose, well, Taako wanted in. That was fucking hysterical.

 

He almost choked him when Magnus turned his head to look at him awkwardly, before raising his biceps and kissing each one, “these puppies, Angus.”

It took a lot, if not all, of the acting finess and willpower in Taako’s brain to force Angus’ amused laugh through his lips, “that’s a great goof, sir!” He took a mental note to fuck with Magnus once he was back in his own body again. It was low-hanging fruit.

He felt his weight being yanked from Magnus’ back, into the cradle of his arm before lowering him to the floor. He righted himself, raised his chin in a futile attempt to not feel like the smallest creature in the universe.

He’d always liked something about his slim stature as an elf, while he could eat anything and never gain and ounce, he liked taking up a small place in the world. When he’d been in hiding after Glamour Springs, tucking his body into whatever corner he could find, slipping through cracked doorways in a blizzard so he wouldn’t freeze to his death, his steps silent and his breath light as he slid all the remaining gold he had onto the dresser by the door.

He hadn’t disturbed the family there, hadn’t taken anything except a square foot of space in the attic in which he had attempted to meditate. He touched a finger to his cold lips and left.

He left no trace, when he didn’t want to. Learnt to make his magic silent and his footsteps erase themselves.

But there was a difference in trying to will yourself into not having a tangible existence, and being a five-foot tall human boy, looking up at the biggest fucking guy Taako knew.

 

“Are you okay?” Magnus frowned, and Taako realised he might be glaring.

He shook his head, felt the short curls bounce off of his face as he did, “I’m fine!” His stomach grumbled loudly, and he glanced down at it in surprise, “hungry.”

“Me too! Let’s make some lunch.”

They moved into the kitchen, Taako having to swing away from Magnus’ hands as he walked, the arc his fists made as he moved just had to perfectly align with Angus’ short ass head.

He glanced around at the counters, realising he was at a disadvantage, and caught the edge of one. He tried to hoist his body on top of it, his hands slipping again and again, until he felt Magnus catch his waist and boost him up.

He glared at him and scooted closer to the pantry, pulling out ingredients, “lets make- Taako taught me his receipe for scones. Let’s make those.” He said, getting started measuring and mixing the dry, he fell into his element. Stirring easily, cracking the egg he asked Magnus to hand him with his free hand. Rolling out the dough and cutting circles from it, he laid them onto the tray and told Magnus to put it in the oven while he reached for another bowl.

 

He grabbed his wand from around his neck, and cast mage hand, retrieving the cream from the fridge, he was pouring it into the bowl when he felt Magnus watching him closely.

“You’re getting very good at magic, Ango.”

“Taako’s a good teacher.”

Magnus laughed, “don’t let him teach you to get lazy like he is. You’re good at baking now, too.”

Taako glanced down at the bowl, whipping the cream, “I told you, Taako’s a very good and talented wizard, and I’m honored to be learning under him. Taako is a genius.” He enthused, hating hearing them with Angus’ voice, instinctively wanting to flinch away from it.

Magnus was nodding, “Gee, I hope you compliment me like that to _him._ ” He paused, and Taako looked up at him, hands stilling on the spatula. “He’s great, you’re right. Taako is- he’s a very good guy.”

Taako remembered the Starblaster now, of course. He remembered growing comfortable enough with Magnus that he took his hands into his own, rubbed circles into the backs of them, and hummed tunes he’d learned from the bards in some of the early years. He’d never bothered to find out if that kind of magic could be appropriated, but he found Magnus was comforted by it anyway, and it became something of a habit.

 

The year of silence, no sound able to penetrate the atmosphere, had found Magnus _terrified_. He wasn’t a man who spoke his feelings. Not back then at least, but _gods,_ did he rely upon sound to function, some deep panic in him awakened. They’d taken to having someone by his side at all times.

Barry and Lucretia had notebooks, could communicate with him via written word, and Lup helped take the edge off, casting fireballs and magic missiles into the air and sparring with him, the two of them bonding over grins and the challenge of a cocked eyebrow. Taako imagined having to fight without any sound influence helped them both to hone their craft.

Magnus had painted all of their nails nearly every day of that year, a form of connection without too much intensity behind it, and Merle had taught him to tend to the plants - much to his protest.

Davenport found it easier to teach Magnus to fly, when he couldn’t interrupt with a million questions, and that year had been the one they came out of finally knowing, for sure, that they had a secondary pilot now.

But Taako, who lived and revealed in silence, and fear, and was skilled more at calming his sister than anything else, had a different strategy.

 

Taako had clung to the backs of carriages with an arm looped around her waist, his hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t scream at the bumps in the road, too small to keep her head clear.

Taako had pulled her sleeping, shaking form into his own, muffled her gasps and shouts of anxiety with his shoulder. Taako had pushed his wrist into her mouth when she’d asked him to pierce her ears for the fifth time, insisting she wouldn’t pass out this time, and Taako knew that the piercings were mostly a reason to feel grounded. A small piece of jewel that they could tug on to feel hurt and pull them back down to earth if they were afraid or panicked. Taako had remained silent as Lup almost drew blood from biting so harshly into his skin as he slid the needle through her flesh.

Taako was the silent one, when he needed to be, and he had learned to be able to help Lup even if he couldn’t make a sound, and so when Magnus moved into his bunk for the year, Taako brought a beefy hand to his own throat, and hummed through the night. He lay awake and sang silence, the vibrations calming Magnus. The bard songs he’d learned lacked their magics, but possibly created their own.

He caught himself aching for Magnus’ touch again. Just their skin touching, the contact of a bond he’d forged for years.

 

“Angus?”

Taako blinked as fingers snapped in front of his eyes, a hand waving uncertainly.

He looked up at Magnus, who had bent slightly to level their faces, looking concerned, “you okay little guy?”

He swallowed, nodding, “just tired.”

He’d zoned out, staring into space, he realised as Magnus took the bowl and spatula from his hands gently and placed it aside.

“We can eat later. Wanna catch a nap? I have some work to do anyway.”

Taako nodded bleerily, yawning and tucking his chin over Magnus’ shoulder when he lifted him. He was too tired to fight back, and if being Angus had perks like this, he wasn’t wasting his chance.

Magnus took him to the couch, and Taako snuggled down into him, head in his lap, arms wrapped around his waist, and closed his eyes.

He was asleep before Magnus started whittling, comforted by the sound and movement of his breathing and soft chattering, not listening to a word the man said.

 

 

——

—————

——

 

Taako woke to Magnus’ hand shaking him a little too hard by the shoulder.

He squinted up at him through heavy eyes, and took the stone of far speech that Magnus was holding towards him, chirping, “hey listen, can you talk?” in his own voice.

He yawned into his hand and took it, found that Angus’ body was better at this than his, his limbs functioning and cooperative already, he stood.

“I’m going to talk to him outside.”

“Okay!”

 

He leant against the wall of the dome and looked at the stone, “Sup Ango.”

A nervous giggle, “Gee, Taako, this sure is weird.”

“Sure is kid. Whatcha got for me?”

Taako watched the earth below as Angus spoke. “I think it’s some kind of a curse. I had a few ideas and honestly, this one is the most likely. Everyone loves you but you do cause enough trouble that I wouldn’t put it past you for someone to land a curse. I think it’s some kind of curse that causes your spells to mess up, and so when you tried to use the wand, its affects were altered.

It seems like maybe this kind of thing is timed, and usually only lasts a few days. I don’t mind this too much, so unless you have some reason we shouldn’t, I think we should just try to persist, maybe figure out who would have cursed you.”

“It’ll be hard to find someone.” Taako mused.

“I was more thinking of whittling down the list I’ve written, sir. It’s… not short.”

Taako’s cheeks burned, “Okay. Well, dinner at my place tonight? We can talk about it then and figure out how this will work. Stay out of the goddamn library.”

He was sure Angus rolled his eyes.

“Okay, sir. I’ll be there tonight.”

“Thanks Angus.” He hesitated, “and stay safe, okay? I may be fabulous but my body’s still aging, and I don’t want to get back in there and find you haven’t taken care of it.”

“Of course, sir. I’ll see you later.”

Taako felt something in him yearn to continue talking to Angus, but he hung up the call regardless and went back inside, tangling himself into Magnus’ form once more and resting there.


	3. Chapter 3

From The Journals of Angus McDonald:

 

**25/2/1 - p.SnS**

 

  * Times Taako fell asleep at practice: **4**
  * Times Taako openly praised me without an immediate redaction: **6??**



 

 

  * Taako attempted to transmute Lup’s door and it went wrong, cast minor illusion and it was faint, used W.o.S.(Wand of Switcheroo) and our consciousness swapped bodies.
  * Taako’s body feels achey and sore. Suspicions that he hasn’t slept in at least a year confirmed by the nap I took and the difference it made.
  * Taako hugged me. (This was nice.)
  * Taako went to visit Magnus while I went to study up at the new library, courtesy of the Director’s attempts to broaden knowledge in our staff.



 

 

Current suspicions for what may be happening to Taako:

  1. ~~Exhaustion and stress are resulting in a decrease in his arcane power, as well as a lack of focus inhibiting the accuracy. This is unlikely as a) Taako is extremely powerful even on a bad day, and b) while he may be tired, he c) has definitely been happier every day since Lup came back. **This may be a factor but not necessarily a cause.**~~
  2. ~~A number of spells Taako may have cast (by mistake?? Unlikely) eg. Mind Switch - duration: usually less than an hour, Mind Swap - duration: an hour. Not quite transmutation magic so also unlikely.~~
  3. Some kind of curse that alters or reverses all spells - seems likely, gather names on who could have cast and research typical duration or cures.
  4. Some external force - aka a god or creature with abilities we don’t know about. Worth considering- anything is possible, especially with Taako.



* * *

 

  *  Further investigation has ruled out 2/4 options.
  *  The most viable solution is that Taako was cursed, not his wand, as he was using the W.o.S. Not his typical, which I observed to cast spells inaccurately also. - This likely means we have to wait it out until the curse expires.
  *  I have compiled a list of potential suspects. [List Attached.](http://bit.ly/2GcxLZ9)
  *  Called Taako to discuss- we are having dinner at his place tonight, I will go over the list with him and rule off anyone possible.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angus McDonald keeps a very detailed, grammatically accurate diary, especially when he is investigating, thank you for listening.


	4. Chapter 4

Taako found opening his own door particularly challenging.

He’d fallen into a lazy routine, mage handing it open as he approached, but the peripheries were all wrong given his newly adopted stature.

Mage hand didn’t quite whip back, being spectral, but there was something in the magic that didn’t love being smashed against a doorway.

He paid attention on his second attempt, succeeding and entering.

He paused momentarily.

Lup and Barry were currently living between two homes, his guest room, and the one that Barry had leased before Phandolin. More often than not, they were here.

He cast out a wave of detect magic just to be sure, sighing in relief as it came back empty.

He wedged his feet from the brown shining shoes Angus wore, kicking them by the door and hanging up his cap, he padded his way to the kitchen and made to rub at his eyes.

Taako winced as he pressed the glasses uncomfortably into his own face, removing and setting them aside, he splashed water onto his face and rubbed at sleepy eyes. Magnus had walked him until Taako grew tired of talking as Angus, and assured him that he could make it there safely, a full two minutes before Magnus seemed appeased he would be.

He’d ruffled his hair and said, “I believe you, kiddo, you’re tough.” And Taako hated that he loved it, that he could feel the phantom tingle that would have resulted from his ears twitching at the affection.

 

Now, he slid the glasses onto his face once more and scowled as they slid down his nose. He dried them and his face and replaced them once more, and stared at the back of Angus’ palms, tiny lines in his skin that were just fucking _visible._

They were tiny, and his skin was _beautiful._ Taako tilted his head and extended his fingers, studying them, the detail in how clean and preserved Angus’ nails were. He caught the hem of his sweater and tugged upwards to look at it, he could see every _detail_ , every woven strand, and it was trippy.

Everything was…. Pretty. Maybe this was how Angus remained so cheery all the time, if the world was this bright and beautiful and detailed through his eyes.

He glanced out the window at the setting sun, revelled in the way the different shades blended smoothly into one another, arcing and curling and strewn with broken clouds.

He’d always just… assumed Angus was human, but his vision was so vitally fucking superior to Taako’s own. Maybe he was part something. Dragonborns had good vision right? Who fuckin’ knew.

 

Taako extracted himself from the hypnotic gaze he had fixed on the sunset and gazed around his kitchen.

Everything was so _high._ He was _so short_. Hell was being five-feet tall in a six-foot elf’s kitchen.

Angus’ wand shifted against his chest, as though it could sense his thoughts, and he raised a hand to it, feeling it’s power reaching around his palm.

Magic was like an old lover to him, (he recalled flushing when Lucretia read that from the notes of her journal, grateful for the warmth of the fire Lup had started in the center of them all, that it might hide his blush with it’s warmth) and it had always felt as though it twined around him like armour, something Lup had echoed back with the way her pyromancy felt, crawling shafts of flame that laced around her hand and fingers and wrist and burned hot, just above her skin so that it didn’t scorch her.

He grasped the golden handle of Angus’ wand and cast Alter Self, restoring his true height, he glanced around his kitchen and immediately felt more at home, setting about the fixings for the meal he would prepare for the two of them.

 

He melted into his element, cooking on autopilot, magic used to retrieve items and only to retrieve items - he wasn’t quite so steady for more than that, not yet - and had hardly noticed how much time had passed when he heard a half-knock on the door before an uncomfortable chuckle in his own voice and the doorknob turned.

Enter Taako, stage right.

Only, he didn’t look like himself.

His hat had been pushed back, hanging down his back from the cord, his skirt riding too low on his waist, exposing a strip of skin between it and his crop top- which he should consider more, it was a look and a half - his hair twisted into some kind of a bun or updo, swept out of the way.

The sheepish expression on his face was the hardest part to pass as Taako, and it quickly gave way to slack jawed shock, as Angus predictably registered the weirdness of seeing himself, height altered to make him the size of a fully grown man, yet still undeniably a ten year old.

“Hey bubeleh. How’s being the hottest thing this side of the planar system treatin’ ya?” he moved to him, breaking the alter so he could wrap his arms around his own waist, closing his eyes and holding him, he felt his own delicate hands grasp him too.

“Whoa-” the weight he held stumbled slightly, stepping back to catch himself, Taako looked up at Angus, “you hit a bit hard with that one, sir.” He smiled, and Taako was once again struck with that desire to smile like that himself.

Once you knew you could do something, you could do it forever. He remembered Magnus telling him a story about how in Fantasy Harry Potter, there was a scene where the main dude realised he had already cast some powerful spell and that gave him the strength to do it again. Something something time travel, Taako was levels above that shit.

But Magnus had a point with it.

 

“Dinner’s almost ready, kiddo.”

Angus’ grin was magnetic, and Taako returned it. It was easy to smile when the world was this pretty and vibrant and _he_ was in front of him.

Angus still hadn’t put his glamour back up, he realised with a frown, and somehow couldn’t bring himself to explain the whole thing to him.

“How was Magnus?”

Taako shrugged, “he’s good. Being a huge dork, as usual.”

“Sounds like Magnus.”

Taako grinned at him and went to check on dinner.

 

\---------

\---

—————

 

“Sir, please don’t-”

“Angus, stop!” Taako tried to tear the book from his hands to no avail, glaring upwards as Angus held the journal above his head, “well this isn’t-”

“If you’re about to say this isn’t fair, sir, I’m going to do something…. Something _real_ embarrassing in public in your body!” The threat landed quite empty, but the point stood.Taako remembered all the times they played keepaway with Angus’ shit.

“Alright, fair, actually. I deserved that one.” He shrugged, “Can we get back to the list?”

Angus lowered the book slightly, “you promise you aren’t going to try to read back through the pages?”

Taako crossed his heart, and sat back on the couch, tucked into Angus’ side.

He could get used to being Angus McDonald.

“So you’re sure we can cross off Carey, Killian, and Garfield?”

Taako made an agreeable sound, “Carey and I are golden, which means Killian has no beef either. Plus, Ango, neither of them use magic. Garfield wouldn’t fucking dare. We have… a _deal._ ” He sneered.

Angus reluctantly drew a line through the names.

 

“I think it’s probably Merle, I mighta failed my bluff check when I lied about listening to that record he sent me and he’s punishing me for it-”

“What about Kravitz, sir?”

Taako froze.

“Fuck.”

“Sir?”

“ _Fuck!_ Shit.” Taako leapt from the couch, grabbing for Angus’ wand, he slid it from the lanyard and flipped it around his fingers anxiously, “Fuck!”

“Sir? Taako, what’s wrong? Did you forget an anniversary?”

Taako shook his head, “the opposite, bubeleh.” He called, blinking to his bedroom, already rifling through his closet when Angus walked in the doorway, leaning against the frame, brow furrowed in concern.

“Angus, can you cast a glamour?”

Angus raised his eyebrows, “I could… probably try?”

Taako groaned, shaking his head, he approached him, holding a dress to his chest with mage hand, he tilted his head and banished it, grabbing another, a high-necked black ensemble with golden trim and a cape stitched in, thrusting it at Angus, he hesitated before just outright doing it for him. He held it out, “put this on, please.”

Angus took the dress hesitantly and glanced at it, “Taako, what is it?”

“I have- we- Kravitz is going to be here in like, an hour my dude. We have plans.”

Taako saw the colour drain from his own face and had he not been in full blown panic mode, he would have laughed at how novel a thing that was.

“A date???? Sir, I’ve never- I can’t- Can we canc-”

“No!” Taako tried to run his hands through his hair, fingers catching on the tight locs there, “fuck! He’s been stressed, and we haven’t spent much time together in the past couple of weeks and this was his first day off and he needs this- We can’t cancel. You’re going on that date, Angus.”

 

Angus raised his hands, backing away, “What if he wants to _kiss you?!_ ”

Taako waved his own, “semantics! Tell him I have a cold!” he grabbed the wrist of Angus’ left arm, tugging it down, “I need to paint my- your nails-” he waved the wand at his chest and summoned a small bottle of deep blue polish.

Angus sat for him, shaking hand resting on his knee, Taako painted the nails meticulously.

“Please do this for me?” he asked after a minute of silence, finishing the first coat on the first hand, he glanced up and met Angus’ eyes.

“Of course you can say no if you’re really uncomfortable. But- it’d mean a lot to me. Krav is a gentleman, very wine and dine, and he knows how I am. We were going to go for a walk, he’s going to hold my- your hand and talk about composers and compliment your outfit and then tell you he loves being around you.” He said, voice steadier, he assured him again, “You can say no.”

Angus looked at him for a long moment, then down at the polish on his nails.

 

“I’ll do it, but only if you call before he gets here and tell him you’re sick. I like Kravitz, and I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Taako squeezed his hand, “you are a life- well, death-saver, I guess, technically.”

“That’s… a pun. For sure.”

Taako grinned at him and finished his nails before moving onto his makeup, the manual way.

There was something comforting in applying makeup to his own features and chatting easily with Angus, coaching him slightly in what to say to Kravitz, discussing clothing options that Angus would feel comfortable in but still felt _Taako_ enough.

He’d tell Kravitz after they were back in their bodies, but he couldn’t bring himself to deal with this, with Kravitz’ unable to help and hovering, and stressing on their behalf. It was easier to give him a chill hang with Angus, and Angus seemed genuinely excited to get to hear about his nerdy music shit.

Figured.

They planned multiple escape strategies, just in case.

 

In the end, Angus wore a grey turtleneck and a soft pink skirt, with matching chelsea boots. A nude lip, a light smokey eye, and a bag slung over his shoulder.

Taako loved it, honestly.

“Thank you so, so much for doing this.” He said once more, hugging Angus tightly, “you can always farspeech me, and-”

“It’s fine, Taako! It’ll be fun.”

Taako climbed onto the couch and wrapped himself in a blanket, a book in his lap. Angus sat beside him, a hand absently toying with the fabric of the skirt as they waited, until finally, the doorbell rang.

“Thats him-”

“Hello, darkness, my old friend.”

Taako stared at the prettily dressed elf beside him, “You disgust me.”

Angus stuck his tongue out at him and stood, stretching his arms before opening the door.

 

Taako felt a familiar chill creep in with his boyfriend, and peeked over the couch at him.

Kravitz looked dashing, and he felt a pained tug at his chest. He couldn’t help but grin as Kravitz kissed Angus on the forehead and told him he loved the sweater, asking if he was sure he wanted to still go out, _they could have a movie night, drink tea and eat junk food instead_.

Taako hated that it made him swoon, that Kravitz was dotingly laying a hand upon Angus’ forehead now, reminding him to let him know if he got too fatigued and wanted to come home any time.

“We’re off- Catch’ya kid!” Angus called in his voice, only fumbling the words slightly, and Taako waved with a wide grin as Kravtiz looped an arm around his waist, waved back with a free hand and smile, and cut them a portal with his scythe.

He grabbed the remote and turned on the tv, flicking to a re-run of some sitcom, he grinned and snuggled into the couch.

 

The opening had barely finished playing, when the door slammed open, and a voice cried out, “who is up in this joint and ready for a _godsdamned pizza party?_ ”

Taako sat up in fear to gaze upon the horror that had walked in, his sister, draped in her reaper uniform, pizza boxes stacked and levitating along beside her, cargo boots kicked to the side as she moved to him, pressing a huge, wet smooch onto his cheek.

“How’s my favourite prodigy? We gonna party while Taako’s out with Skeleton Dan?”

The Hunger had been frightening, the purple worm intimidating, the judges foreboding, but true fear was an evening babysat by his twin sister, her eyes ablaze and energy high.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first TAZ fic and any comments would be greatly appreciated! 
> 
> Hit me up on [tumblr](http://www.taakosfreckles.tumblr.com) or [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/satworose)


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